Regrets

This one is a bit more of a heavy topic so brace yourselves.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my regrets (cause there are a few that I’ve made recently). Not a day goes by where I don’t think the words I wish I didn’t do that. And it made me realise that regrets are made from our mistakes, from the things we wish we hadn’t of done or hadn’t of said.

But my regrets are more of the things I wish I had said, the things that are now screaming at me in my mind every night I lie in bed trying to get more then four hours sleep. The things that aren’t even gone when I’ve finally drifted off as they enter my dreams… and turn them into nightmares.

Regrets force you to play those horrid memories in your mind, never allowing you to get over it. Never allowing you to move on, until you’ve done something to fix it. But for me it feels to late to fix it properly, to say what I truly want to say, as I fear it could possibly make it worse. So I’m going to say what I regret not saying here, to you. Because I need to let it go (if you sang frozen then I love you).

The first thing I regret not saying, is thank you. Thank you for making me realise that its the little things I need to appreciate, the random hugs from behind, the fact that you filled my water bottle up without me even asking you to, the Christmas present that was entirely my taste, even though I’d never even mentioned anything like it before, the jokes, the compliments and for staying with me for as long as you did, even after I’d told you so many times, no. Thank you for giving me a second thousand chances.

But I also regret not saying that you could have learnt some things from this whirlwind as well. So many times you hurt me, so many times I would feel trapped because of some of the insults you threw my way. I hope you’ve learnt that anorexia is not a joke or a body image, and asking me if I’m anorexic because I’m a bit skinner then most is not just an insult, but in my books, very very wrong. Another thing I hope you learnt was that you should never ever make fun of someone because they’ve lost there best friend, because you don’t know and will never understand how much it hurt me to hear you say that to me. You shouldn’t have made fun of my spots, or my hair, because I was only an insecure 15 year old who only wanted to impress you, thank god I grew out of it. Thank god I’v learnt that the only person I want and need to impress is myself.

And to the girl who was my best friend for four years. I’m ok. I’m ok with the fact that we’re no longer friends, that I now try and avoid the canteen because there’s a 90% chance I won’t have anyone to sit with. I’m okay with being on my own. I just want you to know that I was so excited to finally hang out with you after months of hardly speaking, of months of me constantly trying to start conversations with you, only to have small answers that never seemed to carry on the conversation, as if you were never interested in what I was talking about. And when I got that message from him saying that you weren’t coming, I was hurt and confused, because you forgot. No matter what the reason was, you forgot about me, and after that, I realized you didn’t care about me, and I was done.

 

Those are the things I regret not saying. And the things I’m to afraid to say now. Do you have any regrets yourself? If you do feel free to tell me, I promise I’ll read them. It’s surprisingly comforting, putting these thoughts I’ve had in my mind for a year out for other people to see.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. XXX

The One ~ Book Review

Recently I finally got around to reading The One by Kiera Cass, the third instalment in the selection series (there will be another book out next year however it follows a different story just in the same world.) This came out around May of this year and I was planning on reading it the day it came out but for some reason that never seemed to happen, so when I saw it on amazon kindle for just £1.50 I had to buy it and read it straight away, and I am so happy I did!

Ever since I have started this series I have called it my guilty pleasure, because while there are clearly a lot of things it can be criticised for, I still enjoy reading them and once I start I can’t stop.

The Selection series is a dystopian novel however it’s not as intense as some dystopias such as The Hunger Games or Legend. It’s set in a futuristic America where there is a new system called Caste where everyone is numbered. The basic idea is that the higher number you are, the poorer you are.

When the prince comes of age a competition is held for ordinary girls of each Caste to have the chance to win the princes heart and become a One (and eventually queen). Our lead character America Singer (whose a 5) of course gets chosen to take part in the competition, but she doesn’t want to go, because she is already in love with a 6.

This series is mostly focused on the romance between America and the Prince and also America and her secret lover Aspen and this is definitely one of the aspects that I loved about this series as it’s a nice break from all the intense action you normally get in dystopian novels.

The One for me was a good ending to this series, however it wasn’t spectacular. I personally was not a fan of how the ending came around, it was very rushed and very sudden, however it was a very satisfying ending, and, unlike other dystopian endings I’ve experienced it didn’t leave me curled up in a sobbing mess in the corner of my room for a week screaming “WHY IS LIFE SO UNFAIR!” Which I was very thankful for cause I don’t think my heart could have coped with that.

Overall this series is a good read for anyone who is looking for something that isn’t as deep and serious as some other dystopias, but also doesn’t want 100% fluffy romance. This book has everything from drama to frustration to tense moments and times where you cant help but say aww out loud. If you have a free weekend and are in the mood to marathon a trilogy.. I would really recommend this.

Thanks for reading!

A new beginning!

I have decided I want this blog to be alot more then it is. Even though I love books and have loved sharing my thoughts on books and talking about the books I like to read, I want to share with you more then that. I want this to be the type of blog that gets you thinking, I want to share my thoughts and feelings on stuff that is happening in the media and in my personal life and discuss them with you.

This blog is going to not really be about my life, but my thoughts and feelings on certain subjects. I’m the type of person who has a lot to say, but I’m too afraid to say them out loud, and I have to no one to say them to. So here I am typing this in the hope that someone will the least bit interested.

I’m gonna be honest with you and say I am your average teenage girl with average teenage girl problems, and if you don’t like that, don’t waste your time on my blog… cause your gonna hate it. My life is changing for alot of reasons, school, my parents, even I’m changing, and I’m no longer sure of where I’m going to be this time next year. That scares me… alot.

So this is my new start to this blog, there will still be plenty of bookish posts… books are the only reliable things in my life right now and I’m so grateful to have them and now, I’m very grateful to have this blog, where I can and will truly be myself.

Thank you for reading.

Sisters Red Review.

Sorry I haven’t updated in a week. If you remember my last post was on the #AYEARATHON Fairy Tale retellings read-a-thon. I was going to make this one a wrap up post but unfortunately I was only able to read one book that week, so I thought instead I would just do a review for that book.

The book I was able to read was Sisters Red by Jackson Pearce.

Goodreads Synopsis:      Scarlett March lives to hunt the Fenris–the werewolves that took her eye when she was defending her sister Rosie from a brutal attack. Armed with a razor-sharp hatchet and blood-red cloak, Scarlett is an expert at luring and slaying the wolves. She’s determined to protect other young girls from a grisly death, and her raging heart will not rest until every single wolf is dead.

Rosie March once felt her bond with her sister was unbreakable. Owing Scarlett her life, Rosie hunts ferociously alongside her. But even as more girls’ bodies pile up in the city and the Fenris seem to be gaining power, Rosie dreams of a life beyond the wolves. She finds herself drawn to Silas, a young woodsman who is deadly with an ax and Scarlett’s only friend–but does loving him mean betraying her sister and all that they’ve worked for?

I wasn’t completely impressed with this book. It was a good concept but I’ve honestly never really been a huge fan of the red riding hood fairy tale in the first place, always being a fan of Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast. So seeing as this is a red riding hood re-telling I was completely excited about it.

We immediately get into the fairy tale and I really like how Jackson Pearce twisted it and made it into a completely other story, the concept of Red Riding being a bad ass female character who was vengeful towards the Fenris just sounded like an epic concept and I really enjoyed that aspect of the story. However her need to kill the Fenris seemed more like an obsession to me, I would even go as far as to say it was a addiction for her, like she couldn’t stop herself from killing these wolves because of what one did to her Nan and her face.

I did feel very sorry for the characters for different reasons. I felt sorry for Scarlet because she would never have a choice to become a normal girl, because of what the wolf had done to her face, and so she feels as though its her duty to save people from the same fate. I also feel very sorry for her sister Rosie, cause she has the chance to be a normal girl (which Scarlet is clearly rather jealous about), and wants that more then anything. But she’s very loyal to her sister, not to mention owes her her life, and doesn’t want to let her down or leave her alone, and so she’s stuck between being happy and being loyal.

And then we have our third main character Silas, love interest of Rosie, part of a major plot twist (which I guessed in the first few chapters) and honestly rather boring. As far as I can tell he doesn’t really have much of a personality, and I find it slightly disturbing that he and Rosie started dating.. seeing as he’s 21 and she’s 16 and has no real parental figure what so ever. I personally would have loved it if Scarlet was the love interest, cause then maybe SHE would get a chance of happiness.

Overall I gave this book 2.5 stars (2 stars on goodreads cause it has a stupid rating system.) I would definitely say this book is worth a read if your a fan of red riding hood or like the sound of the twist Jackson put on it, but if your not, don’t bother.

Thanks for reading!

My Books!

So seeing as this blog is very new, I thought I would give you the opportunity to get to know me and understand the types of books I like to read and what books you will be seeing on this blog. I had a mini photoshoot with my bookshelf (who looked flawless) hehe so here you go!

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I’m sure if your familiar with YA literature, you can pick out some of the more noticeable spines, such as the entire city of bones, Shatter Me and of course like every book lover should treasure, the Harry Potter series. Also the top left is my small collection

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Down the bottom I have my small collection of classics (bottom left shelf) I’m going to be honest I have only read a few of these, but I am really looking forward to reading more of these in the near future.

You can also see my Harry Potter merch which I got at the Harry Potter Studio tour. I’m actually going back their this December for the Christmas decorations, so I will defiantly be doing a blog post then.

Thank you so much for reading!! I hope this has given you a little bit of insight into the types of books I will be blogging about. I’m really excited to read so many of them and share my thoughts and feelings of them, and I really hope you enjoy it too!